Kemmuru - Koputa puuta (Knock on Wood)

Toimii hyvin terveys ja järki leikkaa

 Health works well and I have a sharp mind

Toistaseks tosi hyvin ollu keikkaa

 For now, have been bookin' gigs just fine

Välit fämiliin parhaassa kunnossa

 Relations to fam at their best shape

'fam' as in 'family'. He didn't use the Finnish word 'perhe', so I wanted to match the colloquial speech

Naisasiat paremmin ku hyvin, eli ei ees kuumota

 Terms with ladies better than ever, not even feelin' the heat

Sillee tuplana ihan vaa siks ettei kuplaa tarvii puhkasta

 Double just 'cause then I won't have to burst the bubble

Idk what he means by "double"... But that's what he said. I'll come back to this translation and edit it if I figure it out someday.

Nii se pitää kelata, jokaisen, siis lipasta pitää ennen ku tipahtaa ehtii

 And so it should be thought through, by everyone, I mean count the chick before it hatches

Literally "so you gotta lick it (once) before it has time to drop". The idiom "don't count your chickens before they hatch" is equivalent to the Finnish one of "älä nuolaise ennen kuin tipahtaa", "don't lick it before it drops". He modified the idiom into licking just once, where as the original one is more vague on if we're licking just once or repeatedly. So I also took the English idiom, "don't count your chickens before they hatch" and modified it to only count one chick. 

Mutsi vois sanoo että elän kaatopaikalla

 Mom might say I live on a landfill

Koska mieluummin sämplejä dyykkaan ku siivoon

 'Cause I'd rather dumpster dive for samples than clean up

Kävelevä ADHD en tiedä ain et mihin menis

 A walking ADHD I don't always know where to go

Joten pyörin vaa ympyrää niiku b-boy

 So I just spin around like a b-boy

Mut jotenki on saatu hommat sujuun

 But somehow we've gotten things to roll

Vaik on lapsii viis. Viis siitä mä en piipitä

 Even though I got five kids. Screw that, I'm not complainin'.

There's a double entendre that doesn't translate. "Viisi" = five, but in colloquial speech it's often shortened to "viis". "Viis" is also a word people use when they want to ignore or dismiss something, I translated it as "screw that". He also literally says "'Viis' about that, I'm not beeping", but that's another colloquial word - he's not literally (not) beeping, cheeping or tweeting, he's (not) complaining. 

Pulju pysyy pystyssä, petihommat silti kiinnostaa

 Company stays upright, still got interest in bed activities

Company as in a business, his career;
"stays upright" as in doesn't fail, he's doing ok financially - not über rich, but doing alright, making ends meet;
bed activities as in sex.

Ja meil o viikkoja ilman riitoi

 And we go weeks without having an argument

(kop kop)  koputa puuta, jos se yhtään jeesaa

 (knock knock) knock on wood, if it helps at all

(kop kop) koputa puuta, mitä mulla on se kelpaa

  (knock knock) knock on wood, what I have will suffice

koputa(n) puuta, jotain toivoo ees saa

 (I) knock on wood, gives me some hope at least

(kop kop) koputa(n) puuta, mitä mulla on se kelpaa

 (knock knock) (I) knock on wood, what I have will suffice

Kohta kolkyt (onks helppoo Bläk?) no ei oo hei

 Almost thirty (is it easy Bläk?) well hey, it's not

Selkä sanoo 'crack', niinku Flavor Flav

 Back says 'crack' like Flavor Flav

Keräilen lelut lattialta ja kiroilen menin lupaa pojille

 I gather the toys from the floor and cuss for promisin' the boys

Että maksan sen vitosen, koska joskus on vaa nii tiukkaa

 To give them a fiver, since it (money) can be so tight sometimes

Ja kun oon kiukkunen ni vaadin liikaa

 And when I'm pissed I demand too much

Vaik mun pojat, Ziggy ja Shabba, o fiksumpii ku meikä

 Even though my sons, Ziggy and Shabba, are smarter than me

Useimmissa tilanteissa suu pyöreenä ku pikkuleipä

 In most situations the mouth round like a cookie

Naama ku sen Kantolan keksin, et siis MC'n pestiin

 Face like that Kantola cookie, so for the job of MC

Kantola is a brand of cookies, and from what I've seen, most of them are round.
There is a saying, "hymyillä kuin Hangon keksi", "to smile like a Hangon keksi / Hanko cookie", their logo was a smiling face. So he's probably referring to that, saying that his mouth is round (out of not understanding something), like a Kantola cookie, not smiling like a Hanko cookie.

Ei tarvii tenttii opuksia bassolaulajasta, juodaan rok'upsia

 No need to study works of a bass singer, drinkin' rok'ups

Mogulin tyyppisiltä otuksilta jallitan bonuksia

 From creatures resembling moguls I con bonuses

Ehkä niitä jostai sitte droppaa

 Maybe they drop from somewhere

En oo korkeushyppääjä siks et floppaa

 I'm not a high jumper 'cause I flop

Ikinä... en usko ainakaa

 Never... at least I think so

Mulle vois hoitaa vaa Jodarok'n'roll vainajaks

 For me, someone could handle it so that Jodarok'n'roll's dead (?)

Kyllä sen pystyy varmaa välttämää

 I guess that can be avoided

Vaivaa uteliaisuus eli tulevaisuu o nähtävä

 Got a case of curiosity so the future must be seen

Jälkikasvulle saarnaa oldskool hiphoppia

 For generations to come preachin' old school hiphop

Kemmuru kuuskyt vee Ilovaari rokissa

 Kemmuru sixty y.o. in Ilovaari rock

Ilosaarirock ("Happy Island Rock") is a yearly rock festival held in Joensuu.
Ilovaari rock = "Happy Grandpa rock", cause he'd be 60yo.

(kop kop)  koputa puuta, jos se yhtään jeesaa

  (knock knock) knock on wood, if it helps at all

(kop kop) koputa puuta, mitä mulla on se kelpaa

   (knock knock) knock on wood, what I have will suffice

koputa(n) puuta, jotain toivoo ees saa

  (I) knock on wood, gives me some hope at least

(kop kop) koputa(n) puuta, mitä mulla on se kelpaa

   (knock knock) (I) knock on wood, what I have will suffice

Kiitti vaimo kohtelet mua kuten kukkasta

 Thanks wife for treatin' me like a flower

Etkä syötä mulle mitään paskaa

 And not feeding me BS

Sä oot mun luomuhoitaja, mun uus urheiluharrastus

 You're my organic caregiver, my new sports hobby

On ollu sun Huutonet-juoksupoikana

Been your Huutonet errand boy

Huutonet is a website where people can auction off stuff they don't want to other users. She's been buying stuff off of Huutonet auctions and he's been driving around picking up the stuff she's been buying.

Ja kiitti Rudi, pyydät ad libbaan

 And thanks Rudi, askin' me to ad lib

Vaik eka kysymys o ”Paljo liksaa?”

 Even though the first question is "How much's the pay?"

Jos lähen luvatta kotoo vaimo sanoo ”Soo soo beibi"

 If I leave the house without permission the wife says "Tut tut baby"

Se on paikoin punanen ja kulmikas ku stop merkki

 Occasionally she's red and edgy like a stop sign

Literally "kulmikas" is something that has multiple corners, figuratively it could also describe someone who has a sharp tongue, who's feisty.

Voihan tässä yhet ottaa eikä tuu darraa

 Sure, I can have one (beer) and won't get a hungover

Aina pystyy tarpeen tulle skarppaa (joo)

I can always step it up / make an effort when needed (yup)

Tarkkaa ei oo, en usko ainakaa

 It's not that strict, at least I don't think so

Bensarahat menee nii ne lainataa (yyy)

 If I spend the gas money I can borrow it from someone (yyy)

Eihä oo mun vuoro olla kuskina?

It's not my turn to be the driver, right?

Toivottavasti hirvet pysyy puskissa

 I hope the mooses stay in the bushes

Because they have a tendency to suddenly appear from there at dusk, causing car accidents. And they are as big as a car if not bigger, colliding with them is often as dangerous for the moose as it is for the human sitting in their airbagged metal box (car).

En oo ikinä mällänny kiesillä pahasti

 I've never wrecked a whip real bad

"Mällätä" also means "to jizz". Not that I think it's a double, I just want you to be aware that it has a double meaning, so be careful if you decide to use it. In this meaning here in the song, it means to crash a vehicle so bad it's unsalvageable.

Ollu lähellä varmasti ku kuuntelee musaa

 I've been close, I'm sure, when I've been listening to music

Puhelimeen freestailaa, hiplaa tyttöö joka

 Freestyling on the phone, fussing with a girl

Kaunistaa pelkääjänpaikkaa

 Whose making the shotgun prettier

Silmät pysyy tiessä ei nukuta vielä

 Can't keep my eyes on the road, not tired yet

Kahvin voimalla väsymystä sietää

 Enduring tiredness with the power of coffee

Tie tää, tie vie tää taas perille

 This road, this road taking me where I'm going again

Motarin varsilla ei pyöri tutkan kaa sheriffei

 No sheriffs circling the highway with their radar

The police, with a handheld speed camera.

Kiitos Corolla, ei tarvii keikalle kävellä

 Thanks Corolla, don't have to walk to my gig

Vielä kilsoja mittarissa jälellä

 Still got some miles left

(kop kop)  koputa puuta, jos se yhtään jeesaa

  (knock knock) knock on wood, if it helps at all

(kop kop) koputa puuta, mitä mulla on se kelpaa

   (knock knock) knock on wood, what I have will suffice

(koputan) koputa(n) puuta, jotain toivoo ees saa

  (I knock) (I) knock on wood, gives me some hope at least

(koputan) koputa(n) puuta, mitä mulla on se kelpaa

   (I knock) (I) knock on wood, what I have will suffice

Koputan, koputan, koputan, koputan, koputan, koputan

 I knock, I knock, I knock, I knock, I knock, I knock